In my late thirties, strange symptoms started to appear. They took me from a satisfied, sensual woman to someone I no longer recognized. Then my period stopped when I was 45. I was anxious for no reason, easily irritated, and hurt all over.
Embarrassing heat waves plagued me, right along with insomnia, night sweats, mood swings, and brain fog.
I cried at the drop of a hat. I didn’t want to be touched. I was so exhausted by the lack of sleep that my sex life didn’t exist. I didn’t know what was wrong. I didn’t feel like myself and had no one to talk to. My life felt like it was spiraling out of control. My husband and I separated.
One day during our separation, my husband asked, “Do you think there’s ever going to be a day that I could do anything right for you ever again?” I remember thinking, “But if you would only do this one thing…” Our heated conversation sent our college-aged son into the room exclaiming, “Mom, what’s wrong?! Dad has always done that ever since I can remember.”
Now, I am not a door slammer, but I slammed the door, and got in my truck.
I just needed to think. My son came running after me and jumped in the passenger side. We talked as we drove aimlessly. We wondered where all of the stupid drivers had come from. At this point, my son, dying of laughter, asked me to pull over. He slid behind the wheel. Then he got serious, “Mom, I don’t know much about women’s bodies. But I’ve been thinking – it seems like you have a really bad PMS thing going on.”
A light bulb went off in my head. It wasn’t a diagnosis from my doctor. Not my husband asking for a divorce. Not even my own instincts. My son’s comment about my monster PMS really got me thinking. Surely, I thought, all of this can’t possibly be because of hormones!
The turning point came after that drive with my son. I’d always felt I’d been the only one experiencing such ups and downs. Thankfully, as it turned out, I was wrong. And I’ve never been so glad!
